Fault Lies with the Instigator, Not the Patient

📖Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2587
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If two people exchange harsh words, it is against the instigator as long as the one wronged does not transgress.”

This hadith teaches the principle of accountability in disputes:

1. Instigator bears the blame:
   • When two people argue, the fault lies primarily with the one who starts the harsh words or provokes the other.
   • The person who is wronged and responds proportionately does not carry the same blame.
2. Limits to retaliation:
   • If the wronged person transgresses – for example, responds with insults or aggression beyond what is justified -then they also bear responsibility.
3. Modern application:
   • In daily life, this encourages patience, self-restraint, and avoiding escalation in conflicts.
   • When someone insults or provokes you, respond with calmness or choose to walk away.
   • It discourages unnecessary arguments in workplaces, family disputes, online interactions, and community disagreements.

What we learn today:

• Be the peacekeeper, not the instigator.
• Avoid reacting impulsively when provoked.
• Practice self-control, forgiveness, and measured responses.
• Islam emphasizes justice balanced with mercy, holding only the instigator accountable if the other person maintains composure.

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📖Quran 42:40
The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto. But if a person forgives and reconciles, his reward is with Allah. Indeed, He does not like the wrongdoers.

• This verse allows a person to respond proportionally to a wrong done by another. For example, if someone insults or harms you, you are permitted to reply in a measured and equivalent way.
• Islam does not make it a sin to respond to a wrong; natural feelings of hurt or anger are recognized.
• However, the verse emphasizes that choosing forgiveness or reconciliation is better, and Allah rewards those who take this higher path.
• The key point: justice is allowed, but patience, forgiveness, and avoiding unnecessary escalation are preferred.

📖Quran 41:34
And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel evil by that which is better; then the one between whom and you there was enmity will become as though he was a devoted friend.

• This verse complements 42:40 by encouraging people to respond to evil with something better.
• Even if retaliation is allowed, Islam teaches that responding with kindness or a controlled reaction can turn enmity into friendship.
• It highlights that choosing a better response is superior, but proportional response is still permitted if necessary.

📖Quran 3:134
Those who restrain anger and pardon people – Allah loves the doers of good.