Good Relations with Relatives Despite Mistreatment
📖Sahih Muslim 2558 a
Abu Huraira reported: A person said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I try to maintain a close relationship, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they treat me badly. I am kind to them, but they are harsh towards me.” The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, “If what you say is true, then it is as if you are throwing hot ashes upon their faces. And as long as you continue on this path of righteousness, Allah will send an angel to support you and keep you dominant over them.”
Explanation & Lessons from the Hadith:
1️⃣ Kindness to Relatives is a Test of Character
🔹 The Prophet (ﷺ) acknowledges that dealing with toxic relatives is difficult, but he commands patience and righteousness regardless of how they behave.
🔹 The real victory is not in arguing or cutting ties—it’s in maintaining good conduct despite their wrongdoings.
2️⃣ Your Goodness Becomes a Punishment for Them
🔹 The phrase “throwing hot ashes upon their faces” means that your good behavior burns them with guilt and shame.
🔹 When you stay righteous while they act wickedly, they have no excuse for their bad behavior, and their own conscience will torment them.
3️⃣ Allah’s Support is With the Patient
🔹 The Prophet (ﷺ) assures that as long as you uphold justice, patience, and kindness, an angel will always be with you, giving you the upper hand.
🔹 This means true power is not in revenge—it is in self-restraint and moral superiority.
Qur’anic Context – Strengthening the Message
📖Surah Al-Fussilat 41:34
“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel evil with what is better, and you will see that the one who was your enemy will become your close friend.”
🔹 Solution? Instead of fighting back with hate, overwhelm them with goodness—this is the true Islamic method of dealing with toxic people.
📖Surah Al-Isra 17:23-24
“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them, ‘Uff,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. Lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.’”
🔹 Even if parents are difficult, Islam commands patience.
🔹 How can Muslims demand respect when they can’t even respect their own family?
📖Surah Al-Ankabut 29:8
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in this world with appropriate kindness…”
🔹 Even if your family pushes you towards sin, you still have to treat them kindly.
Muslim Hypocrisy – You Love Cutting Ties But Expect Allah’s Mercy?
You claim to follow Islam, but how many of you actually keep good relations with relatives?
You fight over inheritance, hold grudges for years, and break family bonds over petty ego clashes.
You refuse to forgive but want Allah to forgive you on Judgment Day? Hypocrisy at its finest.
📖Surah Muhammad 47:22-23
“Would you then, if you were given authority, spread corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship? Such are those whom Allah has cursed, making them deaf and blind.”
🔹 Severing family ties = Allah’s curse.
🔹 Yet, Muslims are quick to cut off family members over wealth, pride, and useless arguments.
📖Surah Al-Baqarah 2:27
“They are those who break the covenant of Allah after ratifying it and sever what Allah has commanded to be joined, and spread corruption on earth. It is they who are the losers.”
🔹 You sever ties, you lose. Period.