Don’t Hold Grudges Beyond Three Days

📖Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4913
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “It is not right for a Muslim to keep apart from another Muslim for more than three days. Then when he meets him and gives three salutations, receiving during that time no response, the other bears his sin.”

Description

This hadith teaches the importance of maintaining brotherhood and social ties among Muslims. It emphasizes that prolonged avoidance or silent treatment causes spiritual and social harm. Islam values reconciliation, forgiveness, and proactive peacemaking.

How it Works

• The hadith sets a limit of three days for keeping away from a fellow Muslim.
• After three days, if someone greets another with three salutations and gets no response, the silent person bears the sin.
• This encourages Muslims to take the first step in reconciliation, rather than waiting for others.

Practical Example

Suppose you have a Muslim friend who said something wrong or hurtful. Even if you are upset, Islam commands you to:

1. Avoid prolonged grudges beyond three days.
2. Greet them sincerely when you meet.

• Allow the other person to answer; if they ignore you, the responsibility is on them.
• This prevents long-term enmity and strengthens the bond of the Muslim community.
• Regarding non-Muslims, the general etiquette of Islam still promotes good manners, respect, and peaceful interactions, but this specific ruling about greeting and bearing sin is directed toward fellow Muslims.

Qur’anic Context

📖Quran 49:10
The believers are but brothers, so make settlement between your brothers. And fear Allah that you may receive mercy.

📖Quran 4:114
No good is there in much of their private talk, except those who enjoin charity, or that which is right, or reconciliation between people…

• The principle of avoiding harmful private talk applies to all humans, whether Muslim or non-Muslim.
• However, the reconciliation part is often interpreted in context of Muslim communities to maintain unity and prevent conflicts.
• For non-Muslims, it encourages peaceful interactions, resolving disputes, and preventing harm, but it is not tied to religious sin in the same way as between Muslims.

Exception: Ignorance

• Islam encourages proactive reconciliation among Muslims.
• Holding grudges beyond three days is discouraged.
• The responsibility for ignoring attempts at peace falls on the one who refuses to respond.
• These principles do not punish someone acting unknowingly, as Allah forgives mistakes done out of ignorance:

📖Quran 4:17
Allah only accepts the repentance of those who do evil ignorantly or carelessly and then repent soon after. It is they to whom Allah will turn in forgiveness. And Allah is ever Knowing and Wise.