Seeking a Righteous Partner in Marriage
📖Sahih Muslim 1466
Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.
This hadith emphasizes that the most important quality to consider when marrying is a person’s religion. The Prophet ﷺ encourages selecting a spouse based on their faith, which is the foundation for a lasting and successful relationship.
Why religion over everything else?
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Wealth, beauty, and status are fleeting and can change with time. Money can be lost, beauty fades, and social status fluctuates. But religion provides stability, guidance, and a shared moral compass that is vital in a marriage.
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A religious person is more likely to act with integrity, patience, and kindness, even in challenging times, because their actions are based on their faith and fear of Allah.
Why not unreligious?
When a person lacks religious commitment, it can lead to several serious issues in a relationship. Here’s why being unreligious can cause problems:
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Lack of Moral Guidance
Without faith, a person may have no solid moral compass, leading to behavior that is selfish or harmful to the relationship. They might be more prone to actions based on fleeting desires, which can create conflict. -
Increased Temptations
Unreligious individuals might indulge in harmful habits (such as dishonesty, infidelity, or addiction) that damage trust and the relationship’s integrity. Their lack of faith may also make it harder for them to resist immoral temptations. -
Poor Conflict Resolution
Faith teaches patience, forgiveness, and humility, crucial in resolving conflicts. Unreligious partners might be quicker to anger, hold grudges, or even abandon the relationship when things get tough. -
Lack of Accountability
An unreligious person may feel no sense of accountability to Allah, meaning they might be less reliable, less caring about their partner’s emotional and spiritual needs, and more likely to make selfish decisions. -
Instability in Family Life
Marriage based on religion provides stability. Without religion, one might not prioritize family values and could lead to divorce or dysfunction in raising children, since faith plays a central role in guiding decisions and setting boundaries.
What about women?
Just as men are advised to prioritize religion when choosing a spouse, women are also encouraged to do the same when selecting their life partner. The qualities mentioned in this hadith apply to both genders. Women should seek a man who possesses religion over superficial traits such as wealth or status, as his faith will guide him to fulfill his responsibilities as a husband.
📖Quran 24:26
Good women are for good men, and good men are for good women.
This verse emphasizes that women should marry men who are aligned with goodness, which includes following the righteous path of religion.
Quranic Context:
📖Quran 4:3
And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of other women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then marry only one or those your right hands possess. That is more suitable that you may not incline to injustice.
This verse also reflects that fairness and justice in marriage are deeply linked to the religious and moral character of both spouses, highlighting the importance of marrying someone with a shared faith.
📖Quran 4:19
And live with them in kindness. If you dislike something about them, perhaps you dislike something and Allah has placed in it much good.
This verse is a reminder that no matter how much you may not like certain aspects of your spouse, patience and kindness are key. Sometimes, what you dislike might hold blessings and wisdom that Allah has destined for you. It’s about finding the balance and trusting in Allah’s plan, even when things aren’t perfect.
📖Quran 2:221
And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And indeed, a believing slave woman is better than a polytheistic woman, even though she might please you.
The believing slave in this verse needs to be understood in the context of that time. To know more, read this: Slavery and Islam
Additional Information
Today, people are all about the wealthy spouse, huh? Forget about religious commitment, just make sure the bank account is stacked! It’s like the dowry has become the new “holy grail” of marriage – as if money somehow guarantees a happy, blessed life. You know, the dowry tradition didn’t even come from Islam; it’s actually from Hinduism, But here we are, twisting it into some materialistic “marriage contract” that’s more about the dollars than devotion.