Explanation of Sunan Abi Dawud 2146

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Sunan Abi Dawud 2146
Do not beat Allah’s handmaidens, but when Umar came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said: Women have become emboldened towards their husbands, he (the Prophet) gave permission to beat them. Then many women came round the family of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) complaining against their husbands. So the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Many women have gone round Muhammad’s family complaining against their husbands. They are not the best among you.

1. The Prophet (ﷺ) first prohibited beating women – this shows that the default ruling was against hitting them.
2. Umar (RA) raised concern that women were becoming emboldened – meaning husbands were finding it difficult to maintain authority.
3. The Prophet (ﷺ) then allowed it in certain cases – meaning it was permitted under specific conditions.
4. Many women came complaining about their husbands – which suggests that some men misused this permission.
5. The Prophet (ﷺ) then said: “They are not the best among you.”

Because the women were complaining about their husbands’ actions, the phrase “They are not the best among you” naturally refers to the men who were mistreating their wives.

This hadith clearly shows that:

• Beating was not originally allowed.
• When social issues arose, the Prophet (ﷺ) gave permission within limits.
• Some men exceeded those limits, which led women to complain.
• The Prophet (ﷺ) condemned those men who misused the permission.

If someone argues that “They are not the best among you” refers to the women, then it would mean that the Prophet (ﷺ) was criticizing the women for complaining. However, this interpretation does not fit with the context of the hadith. If the Prophet (ﷺ) was blaming the women, then his response would have been something like:

“These women should not be complaining,” or “They are wrong for coming with complaints.” But instead, he acknowledged their complaints and pointed out that something was wrong. The logical meaning is that he was criticizing the men who mistreated their wives, not the women who complained. If he meant to blame the women, then he would have told them to stop complaining or to obey their husbands without question. But instead, he highlighted that the men who caused these complaints “are not the best among you.”

So, the correct understanding is that the Prophet (ﷺ) was disapproving of the way some men were treating their wives, not blaming the women for seeking justice.

This hadith also makes it clear that beating women was not allowed by the Prophet (ﷺ) at that time. However, when cases of clear indecency (fahishah mubayyinah), which refers to severe disobedience such as adultery, extreme disrespect, or behavior that seriously harms the family structure, began to increase, Umar (RA) spoke to the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), and he granted permission. But some husbands misused this permission, leading many women to come and complain to the Prophet (ﷺ). This clearly shows that at that time, there was a law in place that required men to seek the Prophet’s (ﷺ) approval before disciplining their wives. However, such a system does not exist in societies today.

Does Islam Allow Beating of Wives?

Islam allows divorce as a solution when a marriage becomes irreparable, and it emphasizes that separation should be carried out in a just and respectful manner. Divorce is seen as a last resort, after all efforts to reconcile have failed, and there are clear guidelines to ensure fairness and protection for both partners, especially for women. *Surah Al-Baqarah (2:231) and Surah At-Talaq (65:2-3) emphasize the importance of kindness and fairness in divorce, ensuring that the process is not abusive or harmful. the issue of beating or physical discipline, the Quranic verse Surah An-Nisa (4:34) is often cited. It addresses situations where marital discord arises due to a wife’s misconduct, such as disobedience, neglect, or, in some interpretations, adultery. However, the verse is frequently misunderstood or misquoted. Here’s why:

Sunan Ibn Majah 1851
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: I enjoin good treatment of women, for they are prisoners with you, and you have no right to treat them otherwise, unless they commit clear indecency. If they do that, then forsake them in their beds and hit them, but without causing injury or leaving a mark If they obey you, then do not seek means of annoyance against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they are not to allow anyone whom you dislike to tread on your bedding (furniture), nor allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses. And their right over you are that you should treat them kindly with regard to their clothing and food.

1. Gradual Steps: The verse outlines a series of steps to address marital problems. First, the husband is encouraged to advise his wife (the admonishment). If that doesn’t work, the next step is to withhold intimacy (separation in bed). Only after these attempts have failed, and if the situation warrants it, is physical discipline (referred to as *”daraba”*) mentioned. However, the word *”daraba”* in this context does not imply violence, but rather a symbolic and very light physical gesture, and scholars argue it should never cause harm or injury. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) never physically harmed his wives Sahih Muslim 2328 a, and he taught that any form of violence against women is completely prohibited.
2. The Prophet’s (PBUH) Example: The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) exemplified how to handle marital disputes with dignity and respect. His own behavior serves as a model, and he never resorted to violence against his wives. In fact, he is reported to have said — The best of you are those who are the best to their wives. (Tirmidhi)
3. Context of Misconduct: The Quran and Hadith suggest that such measures may only apply in cases of serious marital misconduct. The vast majority of scholars agree that it should be a rare exception, not the rule, and certainly not in the case of minor disagreements. Even then, it should be done with the utmost care, and any form of harm or cruelty is absolutely prohibited in Islam.
4. The Right to Divorce: If marital issues cannot be resolved through communication, counseling, or other methods, divorce is an acceptable and honorable option in Islam. Surah Al-Baqarah (2:229) allows divorce when the relationship has become untenable. The right to divorce is available to both men and women, and it is considered a humane way to resolve situations where reconciliation is not possible.

In summary, Islam allows divorce to ensure the well-being of both spouses and to avoid prolonged suffering. The mention of physical discipline in the Quran is not a command to resort to violence, but rather a limited measure that applies only in extreme cases and should never result in harm. In practice, the emphasis in Islam is on communication, reconciliation, and, when necessary, divorce, as a means to maintain dignity and respect for both parties.

Sahih al-Bukhari 5204
Narrated `Abdullah bin Zam`a:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “None of you should flog his wife as he flogs a slave and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the day.”

This hadith is about treating women with respect, dignity, and kindness, forbidding any abusive behavior that mirrors the harsh treatment of slaves. The Prophet (ﷺ) specifically refers to flogging slaves, a practice that was common at the time, and warns against using such a severe and degrading approach toward one’s wife. The comparison made by the Prophet (ﷺ) highlights that such cruelty is forbidden in marriage. Moreover, the Prophet (ﷺ) also prohibited the beating of slaves in general. In Sunan Ibn Majah 1985, the Prophet (ﷺ) stated: “Do not beat the female servants of Allah.” This prohibition extends not just to slaves but to all individuals under one’s care, urging fair and compassionate treatment. Thus, this hadith and others emphasize that both women and slaves must be treated with kindness, and any form of abuse is forbidden in Islam.

Sahih Muslim 1468 b
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.

Addressing Husband’s Misconduct in Islam

Sahih al-Bukhari 5364
Hind bint `Utba said, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! Abu Sufyan is a miser and he does not give me what is sufficient for me and my children. Can I take of his property without his knowledge?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, and the amount should be just and reasonable.

When a husband is not providing sufficient support to his wife and children, the guidance in the hadith allows the wife to take what she needs from his property without his knowledge. However, it’s important to understand that while the act is permitted, it should be approached carefully and with consideration. Here’s a more practical explanation of how this could happen.

1. The wife would need to determine what is necessary for her and her children. This could include basic necessities like food, clothing, and any other essential items. The principle is that the amount should not be excessive—just what is needed to meet their immediate needs.
2. Since the Prophet (ﷺ) said she could take without her husband’s knowledge, it suggests she could do so in a discreet manner. She may have access to his belongings (for example, a household stash of provisions or money) and could take a portion of it to meet their needs. However, it would be important for her to be discreet so that it doesn’t cause conflict or escalate matters unnecessarily.
3. The amount she takes should be modest and fair. For example, if she takes some food or money, it should be what is reasonable for her and her children’s needs—nothing more. The Prophet (ﷺ) emphasized that it should not be more than what is just and necessary.
4. The key principle is to avoid excess. the wife should not take more than she needs, as the purpose of this allowance is to prevent hardship, not to exploit the situation for personal gain.
5. If a wife finds herself in a situation where she cannot obtain what is necessary for her and her children, and the husband is not fulfilling his duties, She can request the courts to intervene and mandate that the husband fulfills his financial responsibilities.
6. If a husband is found to be guilty of misconduct, such as disobedience, neglect, or adultery, Islamic law provides clear guidelines for addressing these issues. The wife has the right to seek justice, either through counseling, mediation, or divorce (khula). In cases of adultery, the husband is accountable for his actions and could face legal consequences in an Islamic legal system. The overarching principle is that justice, accountability, and fair treatment must guide the relationship, ensuring that neither partner suffers abuse or oppression..

Islam teaches that both men and women are created by God with unique qualities and roles, but these roles are not inherently about superiority or inferiority. Rather, they reflect complementary natures designed to fulfill different functions in the family and society. However, it’s important to clarify the nuances of these roles based on Quranic principles and Hadith.

Surah An-Nisa (4:1):
O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women.

Both men and women have equal spiritual worth and come from the same origin. Their roles are meant to complement each other, not one being superior to the other.

Surah An-Nisa (4:34):
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.

Why doesn’t a woman have the right to discipline her husband?

As I have explained the reasoning behind Surah An-Nisa, the permission for a husband to discipline his wife does not mean he has the right to beat her at all times. In fact, such an action is forbidden unless it is absolutely necessary in extreme circumstances. The permission is granted when the husband finds actions that are serious and damaging to the marriage, such as if the wife engages in an affair, refuses to listen to her husband, or neglects her duties in the relationship. This permission is a last resort and is intended to protect the marriage, not as a license for abuse. It must be understood within the context of mutual respect and care in marriage, and it should never be used as a means of control or harm.

1. In Surah An-Nisa (4:34):, God made it clear that the husband’s duty is to protect his wife and family, and to take care of them. Now, the husband cannot claim superiority simply because he does everything for his wife and family. God nullified any such claim by granting him the permission to discipline his wife in serious matters. This permission, however, does not apply to women, which shows that the responsibility to protect and maintain the family is on him. While God gavethis him this responsibility, He also knew that the husband might still claim superiority. Therefore, God gave him this permission, so if the husband ever claims that he does everything and is superior, the wife can remind him that it is his responsibility, and even if he has the right to discipline her, it is part of his duty, not a privilege, The verse also provides evidence that women, with their natural softness of heart, are seen as the emotional compass of the home. The relationship is balanced by these roles, where men show strength through control and responsibility, and women bring softness, warmth, and emotional insight that help nurture and heal. Both roles complement each other, creating a partnership built on mutual respect, patience, and love.
2. Sunan Abi Dawud 2147 is in the context of Quran 4:31 because, as clarified in Sunan Ibn Majah 1851, it only applies when clear indecency is committed. If clear indecency is not committed, it is not allowed and is completely forbidden based on all the references. also the hadith Sunan Abi Dawud 2147 emphasizes that such matters should remain personal. If something like this occurs, no one has the right to question why the husband is behaving in a certain way, as it is a private issue. A woman’s actions should not be shared or disclosed to others. A husband’s disciplinary actions are only allowed under very serious circumstances, as I mentioned before. It is forbidden by the Prophet (PBUH), and the Qur’an provides specific steps that must be followed before such an action is permitted. It is only in cases where a woman has committed a serious wrongdoing, such as having an affair or engaging in inappropriate conversations (e.g., on WhatsApp) or refusing to listen to her husband, that a husband may resort to such measures after exhausting all efforts to repair and maintain the marriage.

Myth #1: If it was that bad, she’d leave.

Reality: Women stay in abusive relationships for many different reasons, and it can be very difficult for a woman to leave an abusive partner – even if she wants to. Like any other relationship, one that ends in abuse began with falling in love and being in love. Abuse rarely starts at the beginning of a relationship, but when it is established and often harder to leave.

Reference: Myths about domestic abuse